Last night, on the eve of Lunar New Year’s, 10 people were killed and more injured when someone opened fire in Monterey Park, CA during a Lunar New Year’s celebration. Thus, many of us who celebrate this holiday woke up excited to eat tteokguk, dumplings, noodles, ricecakes, and jeon while spending the day with our families only to find themselves confused, angry, and mourning.
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No doubt there will be dozens of commenters who have failed to read this caption who will think, “The shooter was Asian” without stopping to consider that the identity of the culprit is only one part of the equation. The identity of the victims is just as critical a component to understanding the impact of this harm. Regardless of who pulled the trigger, it is indisputable that those who were and will continue to be effected by this are from the AAPI community, those who were celebrating New Year’s last night and those who intended to do so today before waking up to read the news. My thoughts go out to the families that lost someone last night from this senseless gun violence.
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This morning, I made tteokguk and as I ladled some soup into a bowl, I could already hear friends and non-friends alike weighing in with their unsolicited advice: “don’t let this ruin your day,” or “it’s not a race thing,” or “I think you’re making a bigger deal than you have to.” These are comments I’ve received in the past when something tragic has happened to my community or even when I’ve revealed personal traumas that continue to affect the way I feel and act. I’ve learned that the best way to deal with this is to say the following:
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With all due respect, you’re under-qualified to weigh in on this issue and btw, I was asking for your thoughts anyway.

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Joanne Lee Molinaro is a Korean American trial lawyer, born and raised in Chicago. Molinaro adopted a plant-based diet in January 2016 and began The Korean Vegan as a passion project later that year. Since then, she has launched a podcast and released a cookbook. She has been featured in Salon, Healthyish by Bon Appétit, The Atlantic, The Kitchn, Thrive, and VegWorld, and on Food Network, CNN, BBC, and CNBC.

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